Beach Body, Bikini body and Flaunting it all!
Every year it’s the same story. I pump myself up with feel-good mantras and positive vibes hoping the dreaded beach blues don’t intrude on my Summer. Every year, they do. It doesn’t matter what size I am, how many salads I’ve eaten or squats I’ve tortured through to prepare, my mind always gets the best of me.
My mind screams “don’t you dare wear a bikini!”
or “your back has gotten wider since last year” and in those moments it feels like I’m back at square one fighting to regain the bikini self-confidence I had garnered by the end of the last Summer.
Every year, it’s the same story. I tear myself apart and look to other women who seemingly have less cellulite, wear a bikini better or strut with all their might down the beach, in jealousy. Why can’t I just lose another 10 pounds, I’m sure that will help my bikini fit better.
Maybe if I use this firming lotion my thighs won’t be so jiggly when I walk in the sand. Or heck, should I buy heels to make my legs look longer? There is nothing I wouldn’t do at the start of the season.
Then something happens. The story changes.
I wear a bikini once, maybe with a sarong. Ok, that wasn’t so bad. Now I wear a bikini twice, the sarong comes off. I wear a bikini three times, girl I am STRUTTING that beach!
Now, why does the story change? My body hasn’t changed, my butt hasn’t gotten any smaller and my thighs still jiggle. The story in my mind changes. Since these bad habits began as a young adult I’ve listened and taken my mind to heart when it tells me I can’t wear a bikini, or I don’t look the same as the other beautiful women. What happens now is I make the effort to change the thoughts for myself.
It is not easy and I’m not going to lie, every year, it’s the same story. The voices start with their nagging. But every year now, I counter that story. I look in the mirror, I take a selfie, I repeat “I am beautiful”, and “I love myself as I am today”, over and repeatedly until I leave my house. Then the next time I do it again and so on.
Hopefully, someday I will be able to lose the negative narrative altogether. In the meantime, it’s work. It’s all body is a bikini body, flaunt what you’ve already got kind of work and dang, It’s July and I am already looking pretty fly! #BIKINIBODY
By Cristina Ray